God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
