Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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