She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
