New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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