so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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