whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
