About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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