Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
