I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
