I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
