Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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