Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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