i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
