need another drink. this is the easiest way
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
