don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
