There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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