How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
