I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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