went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
