My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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