So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
