If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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