Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
