i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
