Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
