party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The adults are the big ones right?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
