we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
