i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
