Im at strip club and am horny
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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