i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
