We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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