You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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