i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
