I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
