I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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