I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
