I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
