I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize