Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All the doctor said was why
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
