I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
