All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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