Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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