Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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