I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The ass gains better be worth it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
