he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
