They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
