dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
