forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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