Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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