is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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