I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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