Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
