My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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